Reading my way out of me


My entire life I’ve always been fairly average when its come to being on time, I wash’t born early, nor late.

I was expected, and I arrived…

Going to school, I showed up when needed, sometimes 15 minutes late, (most likely because I got distracted by a dog along the way) and sometimes 15 minutes early. I’m not someone who goes crazy or irritated by someone else who may be running late, nor do I ever particularly get anxious when I am in-fact running late.

Its life. Things happen. That car accident, the dog on the street, the late bus, the cold shower….the snooze button. I get it. Its okay.

Downside to being this keen of an average time keeper, is confronted with a job in aviation. Time, in this line of work, is of consequential, all-important, earth-shattering, LIFE OR DEATH….CHICKENORBEEF?! (you get my point) of the UPMOST significance!

People are dependant on YOU to take them from A to B. If you’re not there on time, they aren’t going to be there on time. Simple as that. Plus theres an enormous amount of pre-planning before a flight.

Who do we have on board? WHAT do we have on board? (Raging from elephants to rare black diamonds…but mostly farraris and fruit) Who am I working with? (Oh great, that obnoxious 21 year old from the country who smiles at nothing at all, thinking she’s made it in life) …oops.

I can achieve being on time of course.  We all can. You make it a priority. Only problem I face now is that all my energy and focus of being organised and slllllllightly OCD, if you will, goes into my job and all other aspects of my life get an extremely, undeserved, lazier self. I’ve neglected my personal life, like its no longer a priority.

“Time to chill.” I say that every day off, like its a justification of some sort, “I had to be there at 3am, the laundry can wait another day…”

Well, no, it can’t, not anymore. Perhaps this is a lesson I’m learning too late, nay, just ignored the extra curricular activity.

But organisation, planning, prioritising, being on time, is just as important for your own personal surrounding life, as that 4am flight to Delhi so Mr. Patal can make his board meeting. Where am I going with this….

“A Goal without a plan is just a wish.”

Love a cheesy quote, but from my previous entry, and from this one, its becoming rather apparent that I really am, at a lose tether. Lost in my own dull brain.

So this is what I’m going to do about it…

I’ve been inspired by this beautifully talented human from my own city in England. I don’t know her that well, which is a shame as its apparent we both share an enormous amount of love for dogs and pizza. See her website here.

I admire her work from afar, and a project she did back in 2016 has let off a spark lighting up a fire torch, helping me see better, and to roam into those broom cupboards i’ve got hidden away.

She read a book a week for a year.

The idea of it didn’t actually seem that daunting at first….Then I realised. When was the last time I actually read something? That wasn’t a Buzzfeed article, a tweet or an email?! I shocked myself! Growing up all I would do is read!

I’ve been Narnia at just the age of 6, Middle earth at the age of 11, A Catcher in the Rye at the age 14, danced with Mr. Darcy at 15, 16, and 18, and been on several nightmare adventures with Stephen King….

So whats happened?  This once oh-so loved pastime, has too been forgotten about, along with my personality, passion, and I fear, talent(s) whilst I’m tumbling down this rabbit hole.

I’ve decided this is my first goal – not a wish. I will take the time, invest in myself, learn new things and rediscover. So here is my plan for it…

  • I will mostly read self help books. Finding your inner-guru and all that. I use to laugh at those aisles in Waterstones! Why would I want to read that when I can go on an adventure through time and space with a mad man in a box?!
  • I will divulge into Philosophy, Religion, (even though my inner atheist is rolling their eyes), and poetry.
  • Still open reading to actual fiction, I reckon it will be good to get an escape from reality once in a while.
  • If the book has any sort of instruction (e.g. meditate for 10 minutes) I must carry that out, at least once. Continue to practice if I feel it helps.
  • I must finish every.Single.Book even if its painstakingly, Lord of the Flies, dull….(I fear may be the hardest)
  • I shall keep an open mind. Write down what I like and enjoy, and write down what I don’t like. Most importantly, what I learnt.

Thats the plan for this year. Am I biting off more than I can chew?

I’m unsure….I hate that I’m unsure….

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